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Jul. 12th, 2016

Day 6

Start by describing your room. How does it feel to be there?

It's actually not very restful. None of the furniture is new, and it's looking shabby and dated. The room itself is dark because it's hard to reach the shades which don't roll up that much anyway. There's lots of kalat and dust (although it does look a hell of a lot better than it DID, after I did my intense cleaning). It just looks like what it is - a hodgepodge of low-budget items, all of which are well past their prime.

List all the ways you can change your living space into a joyful place.

1. Get a new bed in a lighter wood, with a dresser and nightstands to match.
2. Get a bright floral or graphic rug.
3. Get blinds instead of shades - we're not trying to sleep during the day anymore!
4. Peel off that awful wallpaper and paint the whole room.
5. Buy a proper wardrobe instead of the laundry rack.
6. Renovate the closet - remove those shelves in the middle and run the rack across to both sides, remove the doors.

Feb. 2nd, 2015

Girls' night

Went to the sports bar to watch the Super Bowl with Pattycakes, Fangirl, Fangirl's bestie Machete, and Aura. Ate too much, drank WAY too much, and blew a whole week's worth of Weightwatcher's points in about two hours. Oh God, so much fun! Pattycakes came out to them and showed them pictures of her adorable girlfriend, to much squeeing and nostalgic envy ("Oh, to be young again!"), and after two drinks I didn't even mind Fangirl's bellowing various inappropriate comments across the bar for everyone to hear and snicker at. Had to leave at halftime though ... a girl's got to think about getting to work in the morning.

P.S. Roadrunner asked me this morning how I liked the game. I said I was disappointed but I was getting used to it (my home team pretty much sucks). She's like, "Yeah, you wouldn't know what to do it your team ever actually won!" Which was snarky but true.

Jan. 31st, 2015

Holding pattern

So Scarecrow hasn't been causing me any grief recently, but nor will he just go away and leave me the fuck alone. He's hovering every day, calling and texting and whatnot, but he doesn't want to reconcile (unless it's on HIS terms, which are totally unfair to me and he knows it). It's all feeling very dog-in-the-manger. He pouts when I go on business trips with *gasp* OTHER MEN, but let me into his life? INCONCEIVABLE!!

ETA: And now ex-hubby Baby Daddy has started getting all snuggly-wuggly and asking me out on dates and wanting me to notice how much better he's getting at managing his issues. I swear to God that men were put on this earth just to make me crayzee.

Dec. 29th, 2014

Oh my god, you guys, oh my god

Spaz the school security guy stopped by my office on his way to see Baby Blue and popped his head in, which was unusual because although Spaz is a nice enough guy, he's usually too busy to stop and chat. But here he is, hemming and hawing in my doorway, asking me if I'm going to punch him for telling me that he likes how the gray is coming into my hair.

*girlish simper*

So I thanked him and assured him that no, ladies like hearing that they look pretty, and that he'd made my day (which he totally had), and he scampered off to do his thing, and I preened my headful of old lady pubes resplendent silvering mane for the rest of the day.

So now I have to jump back on the Weight Watchers bandwagon because clearly this is a sign that my love life is getting ready to turn around, and I need to get ready to be seen in my clubbing jeans.

Dec. 27th, 2014

Lonely lonely town

Note to self: NEVER AGAIN get another dog without getting at least two. And when one dies, replace hir right away, instead of waiting for the second one to die and then crying all damn day as you toss out bedding and leftover food and grooming tools because there's no one in the house who still needs them.

Feb. 15th, 2012

Mechanical genius

Er ...

Isn't the water supposed to be INSIDE the water heater?

*googles plumbers*

Sep. 10th, 2011

Gacked from [info]smeddley:

1. Reply to this post with "UNICORNS", and I will pick five of your icons.
2. Make a post (including the meme info) and talk about the icons I chose.
3. Other people can then comment to you and make their own posts.
4. This will create a never-ending cycle of icon glee.

The icons she chose: )

Nov. 6th, 2010

Parental squee

Happy 18th birthday, my dearest Pattycakes. I never loved autumn until the day you were born.

Sep. 5th, 2010

God it's good to be a boomer ...

Went to see "Salt" last night - fun, if a little goofy, but more on that later, because the big news of the evening was OH MY GOD THEY'RE MAKING A MOVIE VERSION OF "THE GREEN HORNET" OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!


The best part of this awesome revelation was that it caught me totally by surprise; I had just sat through the most boring pre-preview program ever (you know the ones I mean; "First Look" or "The Twenty" or similar lead-ins, crammed with insipid advertising and "behind the scenes" promos of TV series you would never want to watch anyway - I'd really rather watch the slideshow of local business advertisments because at least they're set to classical music at a reasonable volume ...), so I wasn't paying attention to the screen so much as I was balancing my coffee cup and trying to open my jumbo box of Milk Duds. Then this movie preview comes on, which I'm watching with only one eye because the presence of Seth Rogan queued my knee-jerk "boy movie = ignore" reflex. Then I saw this handsome Asian man, and thought for a second that he was John Cho, which got more of my attention, then I saw a secret closet with a shitload of weapons, and before I could put two and two together, that gorgeous gleaming Black Beauty came spinning up out of the cellar floor and I spilled coffee on my hand (thank God for sippy lids or all 16 steaming hot ounces of it would have been in my lap) as I jumped up in my seat and pointed a shaking finger at the screen and croaked, "Oh my God ... it's the Green Hornet ..." to the delight of every other nerdy moviegoer who had already figured it out. Then I commenced to flop bonelessly back in my seat just in time to see the double Tommy guns pop out of Black Beauty's hood which just about sent me into fibrillations. I mean, Jesus. I feel like hiking into the Colorado Rockies and freezing myself in a snowdrift to make time pass faster, like Eric Cartman did when he couldn't wait three months for the Wii to come out. How am I going to make it to January? I just do not know.

Oh yeah, and "Salt". Enjoyable but not enough to inspire a full-fledged movie review, so just little bits and pieces to follow:

- My perennial gripe about movie hair. I've said it before and I'll say it again; if they could give Orlando Bloom a perfectly natural-looking blonde 'do in "Lord of the Rings", why the hell can't they give Angelina Jolie a wig that doesn't look like she bought her hair at WalMart? The only hairstyle she had in the whole movie that looked halfway natural was the short little man-do at the end of the movie. Every other scene made me want to snatch her wig off and swat flies with it.

- Er ... the CIA cannot do what people seem to think it can do. We are still training polygraph examiners to hook up electrodes and breath tubes and read charts the old-fashioned way; we cannot sit in a darkened room and read people's brain waves through a ceiling-mounted MRI camera. Just saying.

- SPOILER ALERT!!! Why didn't Salt just wait for the President to wake up in the hospital and finger the real assassin? Why did Peabody have to realize the truth from that ridiculous text message ("Salt's fingerprints found on barge", or somesuch twaddle), when it would have taken weeks to process that filthy ship with a dozen dead bodies strewn around, and weeks more to get any latent hits back from the lab? Again, the CIA cannot do ... oh, never mind.

- Did she ever get that bullet taken out of her hip? No? I didn't think so.

- And why didn't they find her at the hotel after she used the stolen credit card? THAT we can do! And pretty quickly too.

All moaning aside, it was a cool movie with great stunts and a nice retro Cold War plotline with sexy Russians dropping out of the sky every time you turn around. And, not to be missed by younger viewers, a pleasing representation of women in law enforcement and intelligence; think the transit cop on the subway, the SWAT officer searching Salt's apartment, and the Director of the CIA, among many others. Not so long ago, Hollywood wouldn't have bothered with these small but satisfying details.

And finally, I cannot be the only straight woman with a huge crush on Angelina Jolie. I just can't.

Aug. 30th, 2010

Mother of the Year

How I've evaded Child Protective Services this long, I'll never know. Behold, the meager, nutritionally devoid meal I almost served to my sweet, trusting children:


How to make this horrid repast even marginally healthy and palatable?!? Wait, I know!!


There! All better!

Aug. 28th, 2010


Gacked from [info]sarin_siamese - thanks!

You Are a Crane

You are smart and focused. You love to take on responsibilities and challenges.

You are loyal and devoted to those you love - and you'll do about anything to protect them.

You need to be able to concentrate fully in order to get things done. You aren't great at multitasking.

You have amazing endurance. Once you get started on something difficult, you'll finish it no matter what.


Jun. 13th, 2010

Who needs freakin' tearjerkers ...

... when you've got "The Karate Kid"?

No movie review yet because I'm just too blown away. I cried so hard the tears ran down into my BRA, for Christ's sake!

Apr. 3rd, 2010


Went out last night to see "Clash of the Titans"! A full-blown movie review is NOT called for in this case (as the masses cry, "Woe!" ;D ) because there isn't enough new material to analyze. Suffice it to say (NO spoilers!) that it is a more than fitting tribute to the original, with its relentlessly cheesy dialog and non-sequitur plot elements and overall boomer-era fantabulousness. I predict that no one under the age of 45 will get the movie; IMDb reviews already indicate this, with fan reviews pegging at either "Loved it!" or "Wha ...?" depending, I postulate, on the age of the reviewer and whether or not they remember the 1981 original.

Well, OK, a couple of near-spoilers; the Greek mythology is even more savagely distorted in this version than in the original (don't get me wrong; this is not a detriment, but quite the opposite!), the characterizations are completely one-dimensional (again, NOT a negative!), and the special effects oscillate wildly between "Look what we can so with the latest in computer graphics!" and "Smear some Vaseline on the lens to make Zeus' armor gleam!" with not a lot in between. DO NOT MISS the lightning-on-the-sea sequences, which are DELIBERATELY (I'm sure of it) crafted to evoke the shoestring production budget effects of yore. My only butthurt was Perseus' short-cropped hair; a Harry Hamlin-esque 'do would have made me happier, but I grew up in the '70s worshipping big hair, so there you go. Overall a fabulous experience, especially after a turtle sundae and a Margarita at dinner beforehand.

Feb. 10th, 2010

Fandom rumination post

I find myself gravitating away from shonen and toward shojo manga; my recent favorites are "Otomen" and "Captive Hearts", if you can believe that (although I'm still holding out for "Claymore" and "Vampire Knight", the recent blood-n-gore quotient of which tips it from shojo to shonen, IMHO). Not sure why this is - I don't usually go for the girly stuff, and I still can't sit through a theater preview for a romantic comedy without squirming and hiding my eyes ("Letters to Juliet" and "Dear John" in the same day, oh God, I thought I was gonna die!).

But I've always needed my romance filtered; my greatest love story of all time is "Wall-E", and Nicholas Sparks makes me vomit. Maybe it's the comic-y dissociativeness (is this a word?) of manga that makes the romantic aspects more palatable. In any case, I can't resist "Otomen" and if anyone is looking for a sweet (yet feminist!) and really funny shojo manga, this is it.

Jan. 17th, 2010

More vampire shenanigans ...

Movie review: "Daybreakers"
Rating: B-

Summary: interesting concept but lazy and relentlessly cliched execution. I mean really. Vampires take over the world (COOL!), complete with special cars and walkways and coffee shops and stuff - OK, great. But why, barely 10 years in the future, do the humans dress pretty much the same as we do now, but the vampires smoke like chimneys and affect a 40's noir look? Is it part of having yellow eyes and fangs, this fondness for retro? And just what do all these wealthy, stylish vampires do for a living, now that agriculture is (I assume) almost totally irrelevant and the human population, now their most precious commodity (next to wool and silk for those fierce "Project Runway" outfits of theirs), is dwindling?

Speaking of the human population dwindling, you would think that with the technology available, some smart vampire farmer would be setting aside healthy human specimens with which to replenish the stock, instead of just sucking them all dry and discarding their prematurely withered corpses. But who has time to practice artificial insemination when you're busy shopping for a fedora and spats?

And I find it really hard to believe that Ethan Hawke can just pop on some sunglasses and a fedora (HAR!) and stand under a tree at noon on a sunny day and just be perfectly fine. If this were true, he wouldn't need all the fancy-schmancy daylight-driving features on his Charger (product placement, anyone?) - all he'd need is some really strong window tinting, and on cloudy days he wouldn't even need that ... *tsk*

And while we're on the subject of Ethan Hawke, someone needs to tell him that he is at that age where he cannot be considered one of the Beautiful People unless he starts paying more attention to his grooming. In your 20's you can do that bedhead and weekend scruff shit and still look hot. But once you're *ahem* 39, without a shave and a decent haircut you look more hobo than hot.

But it was a vampire movie, after all, and therefore could never be really bad. I liked the opening; human psyche + vampire immortality = some really messed up heads, yo. And I liked the ending; there's hope, but man, it's pretty scant. And I don't know what it says about me that I really dig the gratuitous blood-n-gore and the absence of romance (sorry, the hand-holding between Ed and his human squeeze just doesn't count as "romance", thank God). So better than "Twilight", if only because I could at least stand to hear the actors talk to one another, and there was plenty of killin's and beheadin's and such.

Dec. 20th, 2009

Movie review - "New Moon"

Movie: New Moon
Rating: C+


Just ... well.

With the understanding that I cannot ever hate anything that has vampires and werewolves in it, and confessing that I did see this movie twice because I thought the concepts were so cool ...

... about the best thing I have to say about "New Moon" is that it wasn't quite as bad as "Twilight". The vampires' hair and makeup were better (marginally; at least Carlisle looked better, and actually quite cute, but Jasper and *shudder* Rosalie still looked like refugees from The Rocky Horror Picture Show dance finale), at least from the neck up, but will someone tell me why on earth they let Robert Pattinson's body makeup actually wear off in the topless huggie-huggie scene under the clock tower.

And Jacob's pre-phase hair weave was just gross. Why couldn't they have given him something that actually looked like hair? Orlando Bloom's 'do in LoTR comes to mind as the industry standard for hawt guy long hair; did someone lose the secret formula? Jeezus.

And these are just the mechanical issues; the screenplay (as in the original) was the movie's core deficiency. Bella's character was, if possible, even more unappealing this time around; I hated her almost as soon as the movie started. Her sulky grudging 'tude upon receiving birthday presents from her father (still my favorite character, BTW, and not just because he's a cop) made me want to slap her right between the eyes, and this was the movie's opening sequence, hello. And it just got worse from there. Throw in the almost-romance with Jacob (editoral note: Woman, are you blind and crazy? What the fuck are you doing stringing that steaming young hunkatoid along until your anerotic loser heartthrob deigns to let you in his life again? If Taylor Lautner were leaning in my truck window begging me to be his lover, I tell you what, it'd be like, "Edward who?") and we have sunk to new depths of self-absorption and synthetic angst. Each and every opportunity to take a lighthearted teen experience and morph it into a tortured wallow-fest was exploited until I wanted to call Mobile Crisis on the lot of them.

With one glowing exception. The encounter with the vision of Edward under the lake was perfect. I don't know why this scene got to me when I had so little patience with the overwrought imagery throughout the rest of the movie, but something about those two gorgeous young people suspended together in the icy depths, together yet apart, longing for death and each other, and the despair of returning to life alone, hit exactly the right notes and I found myself getting weepy ("Stop it, Mom!" hissed Pattycakes, who now, as before, was unwillingly and complainingly dragged along as my beard so that people wouldn't think that a 45-year-old woman grooves on teen vampire flicks).

And one last horrid little oversight (please God, let it have been an oversight); from the scene where Bella dives into the water, until the climactic fight scene with the Volturi (which according to the movie's own timeline, occurs three days later), Bella is wearing the. Same. Shirt. Oh GROSS since when do you let a soaking wet shirt dry on your body and then wear it for three straight days? Couldn't Alice have lent her something to wear that didn't stink of fish poo? What, they could steal a bright yellow sportscar to go thundering across the Italian countryside, but they can't boost a blouse from Walmart? Christ. When Marcus intoned, "Let us bring an end to this," I had to agree.

But you know I'm going to get it on DVD as soon as it comes out. I just can't help myself!

Dec. 19th, 2009

Elements win

Much shoveling and housecleaning, in lieu of normal weekend activities. And eating. LOTS of eating. And watching television and playing video games. Why do people hate snow so much?


Aug. 13th, 2009

Trivial observation

The people who write captions for lolcats are way, way funnier than the people who write captions for loldogs.

This is not to say that I, consumed by resentment and demotivation, wasted 40 minutes of City time abusing our electronic communications policy by farting around on when I should have been working. No, not at all ...

Jul. 9th, 2009

What in the goddamn fuckety-fuck ...

... are these shit links in my posts? Why are certain words linking me to crappy little popups advertising crappy craps? JESUS FUCK if this is some bullshit of Internet Explorer's "upgrade" (with which I was none too goddamn taken in the first place, thankyouverygoddamnmuch) I will drive out tonight and buy a goddamn Mac. Fuckwits!

May. 16th, 2009


Gacked from [info]hazumuchan, who always has the best shit ...<3

Your results:
You are Spock
Jean-Luc Picard
Will Riker
James T. Kirk (Captain)
Geordi LaForge
Mr. Scott
Mr. Sulu
Beverly Crusher
Leonard McCoy (Bones)
Deanna Troi
An Expendable Character (Redshirt)
You are skilled in knowledge and logic.
You believe that the needs of the many
outweigh the needs of the few. ETA: AND YOU ARE A SEXY BEAST!!!!

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Test


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