My Real Life

The people who write captions for lolcats are way, way funnier than the people who write captions for loldogs.

This is not to say that I, consumed by resentment and demotivation, wasted 40 minutes of City time abusing our electronic communications policy by farting around on http://icanhascheezburger.com/ when I should have been working. No, not at all ...

... are these shit links in my posts? Why are certain words linking me to crappy little popups advertising crappy craps? JESUS FUCK if this is some bullshit of Internet Explorer's "upgrade" (with which I was none too goddamn taken in the first place, thankyouverygoddamnmuch) I will drive out tonight and buy a goddamn Mac. Fuckwits!

Gacked from hazumuchan, who always has the best shit ...<3

Your results:
You are Spock

Spock 90% Jean-Luc Picard 85% Worf 80% Will Riker 75% Data 73% James T. Kirk (Captain) 60% Uhura 50% Geordi LaForge 50% Mr. Scott 45% Mr. Sulu 40% Beverly Crusher 40% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 30% Chekov 10% Deanna Troi 10% An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 10%

You are skilled in knowledge and logic. You believe that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. ETA: AND YOU ARE A SEXY BEAST!!!!

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Test

... by "Star Trek" last night. Oh. My. God. Going to see it in IMAX next weekend whatever it costs. Oh my fucking God.

... but one you've got so many real-life friends that you have to watch what you say, it gets a little dull. And when people who hated you in high school actually track you down and want to be friends, it gets downright scary. I'll use it to keep in touch with family and that's probably about it.

So enough RL schmutz - time for a movie review!

Movie:"Watchmen"
Rating: C+

As a fan of the original comic books graphic novel when it first came out (yes, I am OLD!), I would have liked the movie better had it deviated from the comic in certain critical areas, and had it NOT deviated from the comic in one extremely critical area ...

1. It was the height of creative laziness to copy the screenplay almost verbatim from the comic panels; I have no idea whether the movie even made any sense to anyone who hadn't read the comic, since much of the background information was originally conveyed in extra panels simulating book reviews, newpaper articles, and other little blurbs that didn't port over to the movie (the dialog in some places should have been incomprehensible if you didn't have that background information).

2. The comic came out in 1986/1987, and was sexist at that time, let alone now. I mean, please. Can we get the girls some armor too, since they're at least theoretically superheroes as well, instead of parading them around in flimsy latex and S&M fetishist getups? Or come to think of it, since the primary function of Silk Spectres I and II was to satisfy the lusts of whichever Watchman qualified as the Alpha male at any particular point in time, why not leave them in their pinup clothes and their improbable, so-not-battle-ready hairdos. Why the fuck not.

3. And the rape scene was just plain offensive (as it had been in the comic as well). Here we have a superhero, understandably overpowered by a male counterpart and beaten to the point of surrender BUT NOT TO THE POINT OF DEATH. So why, sweet Jesus WHY, once the rest of the Minutemen intervened and beat the crap out of the Comedian, didn't Sally Jupiter turn herself around and put her stiletto heel right through that rapist bastard's eye? Why did she just lie there facedown on the table, gasping, with her ass still stuck out fetchingly, while Hooded Justice took care of her light work for her? The Comedian certainly put up a hell of a fight until Adrian ultimately punched his ticket in the opening scene; so why do we still expect our female heroes to submit until they're rescued? Shit shit shit.

4. And again, as in the comic, the relationship between Dr. Manhattan and Janey Slater was brainlessly, paradoxically sexist. Here we have a quantum universe-inhabiting, hairless, eyeless, emotionless, naked blue electro-freak, who decides that he's too good for his still-human partner after her years of loyal devotion to him because she is, at 38 years of age, "getting older". And he replaces her with a pubescent Laurie Jupiter because he likes the way she puts her tongue in his mouth. Puh-lease.

5. Speaking of Laurie Jupiter, what a fucktard. The world is about to be annihilated in a giant nuclear fireball of mutually assured destruction, and she's on the Martian surface crying her mascara off because the Naked Blue Electro-freak just told her that the the Comedian is her father. I think that the revelation of her paternity, given the circumstances at that point, should easily have qualified as "Who the fuck cares when we're all about to die" material, but why behave like a hero when you can wallow in your archetypical overemotional femininity, all the while wearing latex? Just saying.

6. And finally, this was supposed to be "Watchmen", not "Independence Day". The original comic ended on a horrifically Machiavellian note, while the movie adaptation conveniently skirted Alan Moore's dark anti-government parable in favor of a kinder, gentler future vision. Bullshit. The power of the comic lay in its pro-anarchy message, which was neutered for a squeamish post-9/11 American audience. But we'll keep all the sexist bits in so we can say we remained true to the comic. Uber-bullshit.

Yes, there were some good parts. Laurie and Dan kicking ass in the alley, Rorschach kicking ass in prison, and any scene featuring the perfectly-cast Adrian Veidt (except for the fake assassination attempt scene, in which he inexplicably loses his nondescript Western European accent and starts saying "wanna" and "dunno" - why didn't the editors catch that?). But the stupid parts way outnumbered the smart ones, and - hel-LO! - "Hallelujah" is a SAD song and shouldn't have been used as the soundtrack for Laurie and Dan's scrumpfest on the Archimedes. Little dumb oversights like that make me absolutely crazy. Again, just saying.

Working my way down the WIP list, slowly but surely ...

( I bring you gloves! )

I would seriously like to thank that Goddess on Earth who invented The Magic Loop. If I had to do two gloves on double-pointed needles I would never have gotten past the wrist ribbing.

Cross-posted to craft_crazy for the January monthly challenge (yes, I'm a LITTLE behind ... !)

I finally ponied up for a spinning class (after receiving a wheel as a gift in 2006!) because it was evident that I'd never get up the nerve to learn on my own (especially not after my traumatic encounter with the Drop Spindle of Doom ... ). I'm so glad that I signed up, because after two lessons I'm really enjoying it! Picspam below ...
( Handspun samples under the cut ... )
The skein on top was spun after my first class, and the bottom skein after the second. My teacher is GREAT!

The fiber is BFL top from Woodland Woolworks; the colorway is "Moulin Rouge". Spun on my aptly named Ashford Joy.

Cross-posted to lookwhatimade

I have discovered the meaning of love, and it is "Speed Racer" in Blu-Ray.

Movie: The Day the Earth Stood Still
Rating: ... wut?

I don't see how I could be expected to concentrate on meaningless trivia like plot, character development, and special effects in the face of such an overwhelming distraction, to wit: Jennifer Connelly's ugly-ass scarf. Uninspiring stitch pattern, vomitrocious colorway, gauge-busting crocheted ends (probably in "Moda Dea" eyelash yarn from the 1/2 price sale bin at Michael's), that thing was a TOTAL disaster and she wore it for the whole damn movie. Even when she took off her jacket she wore the stupid scarf. It was so ugly it made me want to throw my eyeballs at it. When the Feds took her into custody for aiding Klaatu's escape they should have taken her scarf and thrown it in the flash chamber with Gort and incinerated it.

( I'm blind! BLIND, I tell you!!! )

And oh yeah, the flick warn't bad ... ;)

So last night I dragged Pattycakes to go see "Twilight" ...

"Surely not," you say, "Shouldn't it have been the other way around?"

Well, not in this case. See, Pattycakes had read the "Twilight" series quite some time ago, and hadn't been terribly impressed by Stephenie Meyer's literary style (about which I know nothing because I haven't read any of her books). So she thought that a movie adaptation would probably be worse, and was doubly turned off by all the hype preceding this movie. So I had to beg and cajole (because I'm NOT going by myself!) and eventually persuaded her into the car (with her pretend-sulking all the way, because she is her mother's daughter and understands that even a bad movie is a good time).

( And ooohhh, was it ever worth it ... )

Gacked from atom_bunny, hazmuchan, and scores of others ...

You Act Like You Are 29 Years Old

You are a twenty-something at heart. You feel like an adult, and you're optimistic about life. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. You're still figuring out your place in the world and how you want your life to shape up. The world is full of possibilities, and you can't wait to explore many of them.

Nothing says "sex machine" like a brand-new pair of extra-strength bifocals.

Harumph.

Let's not all run home and tell all our children that they can be anything they want to be when they grow up. Remember that this still applies just to boys.

Gacked from hazmuchan - *blows kisses*

Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz The higher of these two numbers below indicates which side of your brain has dominance in your life. Realising your right brain/left brain tendency will help you interact with and understand others. Left Brain Dominance: (12) Right Brain Dominance: (7) Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz

... but what does this mean?

Gacked from playswithknives - cheers!

Your result for Which Star Trek Ship Should You Command? Test...

Galaxy Class!

30% Flight_Control, 10% Tactical, 20% Science and 50% Command!

Take Which Star Trek Ship Should You Command? Test at HelloQuizzy

Next on my list of insanely pedantic meditations on "Speed Racer" ...

... apparently the Mach 5 can race cross-country at about 4000 miles per hour.

Because when the Casa Cristo race begins (at sunrise), Spritle is watching it live in the morning back at Chez Racer. Pops busts him out and makes him go outside to get some sun. Then, only a few hours later, Pops steps out to get some parts, saying, "I'll be back before lunch," CLEARLY indicating that it is still morning. Yet when Spritle sneaks back into the house to catch the race, the first day is already winding down as the team slices through the aqueducts of Sassicaia, and thence to Cortega, under the setting sun.

I'm not saying that the Mach 5 couldn't cover 12 time zones in 3 hours. It is, after all, The Fabulous Mach 5 ...

Like who wouldn't be?!?

Nobody can figure out when Rex actually "died."

During the opening race at Thunderhead, Old Guy Announcer starts yapping about "that night 8 years ago" when Rex Racer set the course record. Then Long-Hair Brit Guy Announcer yammers about Rex taking orders from the criminal underworld for five years before the Casa Cristo tragedy, which would mean that Rex died at most three years ago. BUTBUTBUT, when Inspector Detector (woof!) appears at the Racer house after the race at Fuji, Pops says that he hasn't seen him for 10 years, which must have been when I.D. was conducting the investigation into Rex's death.

So, did Rex die three years ago, or ten? And if it was ten, how did Rex set the course record at Thunderhead after having been dead for two years?

And for you quickwits who point out that I.D. may have been investigating something OTHER than Rex's death 10 years prior, I must point out that at Casa Cristo, Speed tells Trixie that "Inspector Detector suspected foul play" in Rex's death, so he must have been involved in the investigation (unless Inspector Detector grants phone interviews reference controversies in which he has no personal involvement, like those doctors and therapists that speak to the Enquirer about Oprah's weight and Heather Locklear's emotional state even though they've never treated them).

Clearly I need "Mugglenet" for Speed Racer. Where is it? Where?

Gacked from hazmuchan -- *kisses*

Your result for The Classic Dames Test...

Joan Crawford

You scored 48% grit, 24% wit, 19% flair, and 21% class!

Take The Classic Dames Test at HelloQuizzy

"Speed Racer" came out on DVD a couple weeks ago, and I've been watching it at least once a day, every day since. Insufferably geeky but that's me. I know the moviegoing public hated it but I love Speed, have ALWAYS loved Speed ever since elementary school, and the movie adaptation just thrills the living shit out of me.

Naturally, having watched it daily for 14 days, I have discovered inconsistencies and discrepancies, with which documentation I shall clutter this blog beginning now!

Young Speed is right-handed; adult Speed is left-handed.

Little Speedy uses his right hand to fill out his test form in the classroom scene. Big Speed is never shown writing; HOWEVER, he shoots left-handed in the mountain pass scene (WOOF!), and every time he throws a punch (mountain pass scene AND hotel ninja scene) he leads with a strong left, but his right is short and tentative. And finally, when Chim-chim tosses his the gun during the mountain pass scene, he snatches it out of the air with his left hand and in a single fluid motion, pistol whips the baddie man with it still in his left hand.

As God is my witness, I never thought I'd see the day when Speed Racer, clad in leather, would pistol-whip a bad guy on the big screen with huge martial-arts film snowflakes falling all around.

*weeps with joy*

Har! Gacked from playswithknives, and since I'm such a neurotic ISTJ borefest I corrected the spelling, grammar and HTML before posting!

Your result for The Watchmen Personality Type Test...

Nite-Owl

You scored 79% Moral Imperatives and 65% Attitude!

Take The Watchmen Personality Type Test at HelloQuizzy